We got married in early August and spent the next month ignoring reality while away on our honeymoon. Within a few days of returning home, a wave of sadness washed over me.
A close friend of mine had mentioned this happened to her, too, so I knew I wasn’t alone. Also, the good news is that all of this is a result of too much love. At least, that’s how I feel.
Much like the name alludes, the post-wedding blues are a period of sadness that shows up after a wedding is all said and done. For me, it really hit after we were home from the honeymoon and back in reality.
Honestly, it’s easy to write these blues off as simply being tired. Sure, I’d be willing to bet exhaustion might contribute to the post-wedding blues, but it’s important to acknowledge them for what they truly are.
If you are feeling down after the wedding, look for signs like boredom, lethargy, sadness, and loneliness. Remember, it will pass. Plus, you have a lifetime of blissful marriage ahead of you.
Our wedding day went off without a hitch – it was totally, absolutely dreamy. I enjoyed and cherished each and every moment. I mean, you truly can’t beat being in the same room with every single person you love most. You really can’t.
Leading up to the big day, I felt the usual amount of stress a bride might feel. There were times, between juggling work and wedding planning, I had to make sure I didn’t experience any early signs of burnout.
On the day of, I was so chill. Shout out to the Sakara Bridal Program and Soul Addict for that! I felt really prepared and honestly, just excited for the day to unfold. It ended up being one of the best days of my life.
Fast-forward to post-honeymoon…
As I sat on my couch on a slow Saturday morning, I felt an intense wave of emotion hit me like a ton of bricks. It was this odd mixture of bittersweet sadness, a heart-warming feeling of gratitude, and pure exhaustion.
Oh, and of course, my old friend: anxiety.
See, the thing that you don’t hear all too often about weddings is there is a real period of “coming down” after all is said and done. What I’ve come to know as the post-wedding blues.
The food is gone, the shoes are off, the dress is dirty, and everyone jets off back to their lives.
I spent days upon days with the people I love and cherish the most in this life, and in the blink of an eye, it was over.
Yes, the honeymoon was an incredible adventure and we had time to relax and enjoy ourselves, but I’ve come to realize it was also a period of distraction.
It wasn’t until I was back home on my favorite spot on the couch early last Saturday morning that I realized how much I’d been pushing down and not acknowledging. The distractions were coming from all angles: texts, emails, phone calls, bills to pay, dogs to walk, chickens to feed, work to do, and social media notifications.
And then it all broke loose.
I cried and I made myself just sit there with my feelings. I didn’t try to stop them, cover them up, or distract myself with a scroll through Instagram. I didn’t make up excuses, downplay my emotions, or blame it on my hormones.
I just sat there.
And I sat there.
And I did the same thing on Sunday.
And then I slept ten glorious hours because emotional exhaustion is a real struggle. And then I finally felt so good. Like I had lost five pounds of pure emotional baggage I was clinging onto for dear life.
Of course, everyone experiences things on their own level. I think the most important takeaway from my stint with the post-wedding blues is that you have to acknowledge it for what it is. Don’t make excuses for yourself or try to play it off as no big deal.
Sitting with it, feeling it, understanding it. That’s what will help you move past these blues.
Also, don’t be afraid to reach out to your new partner and let them know what you’re going through. Call a trusted friend or family member. Whatever you need to do to feel supported.
If these feelings of sadness and depression last more than a few days, consider finding a therapist to support you through this time.
Throughout this process, I came to realize that even though I am a healthy person on the outside – I eat all the vegetables, do all the workouts, make sure to take my supplements, practice mindfulness and gratitude, blah, blah blah – sometimes we use the rituals designed to help us achieve health to actually distract us from what’s really going on.
Sometimes all we really need is to just force ourselves to sit still for five minutes, five hours, whatever timeframe is within reach for you and let the junk come up without judgment.
Give yourself permission to take a step back, put down your phone, turn off the Netflix, and crumble up your to-do list.
It’s safe to say, I’m feeling better than before. I’m grateful for this experience and realized how much there is to look forward to after the wedding is over.
I don’t think so. Alternatively, what you can do is be prepared. Understand that experiencing this sadness is a reality and begin to treat yourself with more compassion.
Also, shifting your focus from the wedding is over to a mindset of daily gratitude is a great way to keep positive things in perspective.
Have you experienced the post-wedding blues or post-wedding depression?What helped you move past that time in your life?
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