Examining people-pleasing behavior is fascinating – why do we do it? From where does this behavior stem? What do we seemingly gain from over-giving? Learn the answers to these questions and more on this week’s episode.
Episode 031 | November 05, 2019
What’s new this week
On this week’s episode of You Time, I sat down with author, speaker, and recovering people-pleaser Natalie Lue of Baggage Reclaim to dissect and dive deeper into people-pleasing behavior.
We take a closer look at the motivations around people-pleasing behavior and work to uncover common emotions felt by those who continually give too much. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed from living a life of Yes, this episode is for you.
Natalie and I both believe that (unless you’re a narcissist or psychopath), everyone has a vein of people-pleasing in some area of their life, whether it’s work, relationships, or with family. Listen in to discover where you aim to please others within your life and what you can do to change your ways.
Natalie Lue, 42, is a writer, podcaster, speaker, and artist who’s been blogging for over fifteen years. She founded Baggage Reclaim in 2005 with the mission of using her recovery from abandonment, emotional unavailability, and low self-esteem to help at least one person avoid what she had or figure their way out of a toxic relationship.
Since then, she’s helped many people-pleasers, perfectionists, and overthinkers unpack and reclaim themselves from their emotional baggage. This baggage can affect everything from forging intimate relationships to their emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual wellbeing to their creativity, relationship with money and work, to the health and wealth of their interpersonal relationships. Her work is also currently expanding into helping kids and parents.
Natalie’s self-published four books that have sold 130K+ copies, and is the host of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions podcast which has enjoyed 1.2m downloads on Apple podcasts and more than 2m listens on other outlets. She runs e-courses, an online membership, and workshops.
Jamaican Chinese in origin, she was born in England and raised primarily in Dublin, Ireland. She lives in on the edge of London in Surrey with her husband, two daughters and crazy cockerpoo, Chester.
Finding out you are a people-pleaser | 3:16
The impact of people-pleasing on your health | 6:48
Getting in touch with your needs as a people-pleaser | 20:40
The common emotions of a people-pleaser | 27:02
The people-pleasing mentality | 33:25
Co-dependency and empathy | 41:15
The people-pleasing epidemic | 50:33
The hidden agenda and people-pleasing behavior | 1:00:00
Natalie answers: self-care questions | 1:07:00
Additional resources for people-pleasing behavior
Connect with Natalie
Also, Natalie is the author of four self-published books. Check them out below!
Supportive resources for this episode
If this episode resonated with you, check out the below additional resources to help you dig deeper into your people-pleasing ways.
Listen: Learn How to Not Be a People-Pleaser with Therapist Stephanie Essenfeld
Book: Boundaries with Soul by Carley Schweet
Book: Anxious to Please by James Rapson
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