Discover how to not be a people-pleaser, finally. Listen in to learn the tell-tale signs of co-dependency, discover more about building healthy boundaries, and uncover how to finally let go of feeling guilty for putting your needs first.


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EPISODE 028 | OCTOBER 15, 2019

WHAT’S NEW THIS WEEK

In this episode of You Time, I sat down with therapist Stephanie Essenfeld of Therapy Untangled to bring to light the common emotions and difficulties that go along with constantly living to please others.

We cover why some of us are pre-conditioned to be people-pleasers, how we got here, and what we can do about it.

If you’ve ever given too much at the expense of yourself, make sure to listen in to this week’s episode where you’ll learn how how to not be a people-pleaser.

It’s equal parts eye-opening and all-too-familiar.

Stephanie Essenfeld of Therapy Untangled

ABOUT STEPHANIE

Stephanie Essenfeld has been dedicated to the study and practice of family psychology and therapy for the past eight years.

She loves working in collaboration with her clients and helps them take advantage of their strengths to solve their problems.

Stephanie’s work focuses on effective communication, empathy, rebuilding self-esteem, boundaries, decision making, overcoming traumas, and mindfulness. These focuses help clients form and maintain healthy relationships with others and most importantly, with themselves.

TOPICS COVERED

How we can destigmatize “going to therapy” | 2:55

The power of unlearning patterns | 6:46

All about boundaries | 13:58

The seven false “shoulds” of people-pleasing | 19:45

What is co-dependency? | 28:53

Recognizing co-dependency in relationships | 30:45

Navigating guilt and healing shame | 34:26

Knowing that you’re worthy | 40:35

Stephanie answers: all about her self-care | 49:32


ADDITIONAL RESOURCES

CONNECT WITH STEPHANIE

If you’re not already, follow along on Stephanie’s Instagram @therapyuntangled to find tools for personal growth, facilitate psychoeducation, and encourage self-reflection in those who do not have access to therapy or who want to use her content as a supplement to their own therapy.

SUPPORTIVE RESOURCES FOR THIS EPISODE

Looking for more resources on how to not be a people-pleaser? Check out the list below.

DISCOVER WORTHY: AN ONLINE SELF-CARE COURSE

Learn more about Worthy™ and develop your self-confidence

Worthy was created after years of studying people-pleasers and watching women continuously neglect their happiness in a never-ending effort to please others.

Overwhelmingly, the common block that held these incredible women back from setting boundaries, saying No, and making positive changes in their lives was an overall belief that they were not worthy enough to do so. They were also too f*cking scared to make a move when it came right down to it.

Are you one of these women?

This course will guide you through three modules to help you become unblocked and start to see that you are worthy. Setting empowered boundaries is in your future!


GRAB YOUR FREE SELF-CARE TOOLKIT

Whether you have 3 minutes or an hour a day, incorporating a simple self-care routine into your daily life has the power to bring satisfaction and joy back into your life. Get your toolkit now!

You won’t find joy at the bottom of an ice cream pint or yet another pair of shoes; instead, real happiness starts with taking care of YOU and your needs. You’re worthy of caring for yourself.

With this free guide, you’ll receive:

  • Journaling prompts to help you build soulful boundaries
  • Simple self-care recipes (like a toasted coconut latte!)
  • A list of my must-have self-care tools
  • Easy ways to care for yourself when you’re short on time
  • Inspiration to support you on your journey

Note: some of the links on this page are affiliate links. Should you choose to purchase anything from them, I may receive a small commission. Thanks for supporting this podcast!