Self care isn’t selfish, but we live in a world that constantly screams to us that taking a few moments of our day to focus on ourselves is completely rude. Self care has become something to cross off the bottom of our to-do list, after we feel we have accomplished enough to justify a few moments to care for ourselves.

Mmmm…no, thanks.

Since when is taking care of our needs a bad thing?

We’ve been conditioned to believe that self care is indulgent and left only for those with ample amounts of free time and a boatload of money, or that it’s to be crammed in at the end of the day. I’d like to formally address these statements once and for all and simply say, they’re not true.

You’ve probably heard this before, but self care can empower us to take care of others in a deeper and more loving way. There’s nothing selfish about that, am I right? The airplane/mask scenario always comes to mind: please ensure your mask is securely placed before helping others.

A quick note: I do want to challenge the above belief a bit, and say that self care should not just be practiced solely so that you can pour yourself into others. Self care is a practice that allows us to pour into ourselves, and then, if we so choose, we can then fill up others with our loving energy as well.

Only if they’re deserving, of course!


If you’re a (recovering) people-pleaser like me, those divine moments when you finally decide to take some time to yourself, you’re wracked with a nagging guilt. The voice of, “I should be doing XYZ instead” starts to creep in, and we feel this overwhelming feeling that we shouldn’t enjoy this precious time we created for ourselves. We feel selfish, rude, and unproductive.

A few thoughts to ponder when you find yourself in that situation:

  • Is there something seriously that urgent happening that you can’t enjoy yourself?
  • Are you really that important that the world cannot function without you orchestrating every move? If yes, more power to you. Hope you have some boundaries in place!
  • When’s the last time you took a look at your priorities and compared it to how you’re running your life right now?
  • Have you been told at some point that it’s more important to take care of others first? Yeah? Who told you that? What’s their self-care look like?
  • Above all, what’s stopping you from feeling worthy enough to take a few moments to yourself?

It’s also pretty common to think that self care is just getting daily massages and indulging in chocolate cake every chance you get. On the contrary, self care is truly the act of taking care of ourselves moment by moment and gifting ourselves the chance to feel taken care of. When we begin to rely on others to step up to the plate and guess what we’re needing without any prior communication, that’s when self care can begin to feel a little bit more selfish.

Bottom line: you have to create self care moments for yourself each and every day, without expecting others to do it for you.


Here are some easy self care ideas that you won’t feel guilty about indulging in:

  • Sip a mug of calming nighttime tea instead of reaching for dessert.
  • Make your bed each morning.
  • Buy a cute water bottle and drink enough water throughout the day.
  • Speaking of drinking more water, go to the bathroom when you have to go. Don’t force yourself to finish that email or hold it for another 30 minutes!
  • Wash and change your sheets weekly. Bonus points if you add lavender to a dryer ball!
jade roller and essential oil self care


I’d love to hear your thoughts on self care. Do you feel guilty taking time for yourself? How do you like to fill up your own cup?