As an empath, do you find yourself struggling to keep some balance within your life? Are you constantly soaking up the energy of others around you and find yourself paralyzed, unable to move because you’re so overcome with emotion?
Chances are, if you’re reading this, you’re already aware of the specific empathetic characteristics that make you, you.
If you’re ready to fully step into your empathetic powers without sacrificing your personal happiness, continue reading! I talk about the one shift I’ve made in my personal life to create healthy and positive relationships with those around me, including myself.
COMMON EMPATH TRAITS:
1. You struggle with boundaries. It’s tough to know where you leave off and others begin, which experiences are yours and which come from others, and when to open your channels for connection or to close them.
2. You’re often not in your body. For empaths, all that “feeling into” the experiences of others means that you dissociate: you leave your body or “shuttle” out of the direct experience as a matter of course.
3. You’re vulnerable to emotional contagion. You absorb the emotions of others, from your boss and colleagues at work to your family and friends, and even the check-out guy at Whole Foods.
4. You’re prone to nervous system overdrive. It doesn’t take much—sometimes just a draining conversation or a party that’s loud and over-populated—to propel your nervous system into alarm mode.
5. You have trouble with intimacy. Your relationships are filled with intense bonding and equally intense separations. You can merge with others at the drop of a hat, but get so entangled that an “emotional exorcism” of someone you care about is often the only way to get your space.
‘The Empath Checklist’ from Bo Forbes.
A COMMON MISCONCEPTION
One of the biggest misconceptions I see with my clients is the idea that, as an empath, you are destined to a life of emotional exhaustion, low self-confidence, and frustration around communicating your needs. Those limiting beliefs simply aren’t true and there is a way to live a life feeling the gorgeous gifts of a highly in-tune empathetic healer, all the while living a life that is in balance – with yourself and with others.
HOW TO PROTECT YOURSELF
I’m just going to come out here and say it: build boundaries.
Empaths who build boundaries are not bad people and they are certainly not less of a feeler than empaths who choose not to build boundaries. Actually, I think that those super-feelers who harness their no and choose the energy they let into their lives are even more in touch with the gifts they’ve been given. It takes a certain level of awareness to not only be super in touch with yourself, but also with others.
This concept is not as easy as just saying no because, in this process of building boundaries, an empath needs to begin creating mindfulness around themselves and the way they’re truly feeling. That means it’s time for you, empath, to take a moment to yourself and get in touch with what’s going on inside. That might sound really freaking scary to some of you because you’re so used to constantly feeling other’s emotions, it might be difficult to decipher what’s yours to feel and what’s not.
The most helpful tools I use for myself and my clients to begin to get in touch with what’s going on is mindful meditation and journaling. Both of these practices have the end goal: getting in touch with how we’re feeling at certain moments and why.
As an empath, it is imperative to build healthy and strong internal and external boundaries because, ideally, you need to be the only one in charge with the energy you’re allowing into your life. Since you commonly sponge up the emotions of others, leaving you exhausted and resentful, you need a method in place to stop that cycle before it directly affects you.
You can feel, you can understand, but your gifts don’t have to take a toll on your personal happiness.
IT’S NOT SELFISH
I’ve been challenged on this idea before, and let me clear the air – building boundaries and saying no as an empath isn’t selfish. It’s not rude, it’s not mean, and you’re going to be okay. Actually, you’ll probably be better off than you were before your boundaries were in place.
And, for those of you asking, saying no and being in charge of your personal boundaries does not make you a narcissist. Instead, it makes you a strong and loving human with a strong enough self-worth to know that you, too, deserve to be loved and understood.
When we protect our own personal energy, we are able to show up better for others in true need of our help. We are able to take care of those around us with more kindness and compassion because our needs have already been met. If we are whole on our own, we are able to give others that much more. If we are constantly giving to others from an empty cup, we are actually doing them a disservice and not being as intentional with our giving actions.
READY TO BUILD YOUR OWN BOUNDARIES?
Sign up for the “pre” pre-sale of my book, Boundaries with Soul. A step-by-step guide that includes meditations, journaling, questions, and more to take back your power, create your loving no, and discover your authentic yes.